2003-06-16 - 1:29 p.m.

Feb.19, 1998-June 14, 2003

These are the dates of my relationship’s life.

She told me she can’t commit, can’t go on in the relationship. We were working on it...I thought we were going to weather the storm. I still want it to work. I still have hope. I sound pathetic…in total denial that this is happening.

I cannot express the amount of pain I am in right now. I’ve been crying since Saturday.

The hope I had for this relationship is still there, it’s the reason I hurt so deeply. I have to let the hope of being together die, in order to move on. This is so unfair, I put her through 2/3rds of law school, moved to another city to be with her, sacrificed many things. I gave her-us- five years of love and friendship. I am very sad that she does not want to be my partner anymore.

We still live together, I left this weekend to stay with some friends, for some space for some clarity…I’m not clear yet…too many emotions, too many thoughts swirling around. We have to move out…I can’t live in this place for 2 reasons-too expensive-too many reminders. How does one divide almost 6 years of memories?

I saw Jules this morning as I was picking up clothes…we hugged, we cried, we told each other we loved each other deeply…she told me how sorry she was…I am sorry too, sorry that all that I will have left of this will be a dash in between dates.